UK digital rescue · senior-only · est. 2026
Cowboys built it. we unf-ck it.
You've emailed. Chased. Called the account manager's mobile. No answer. Site's still broken. Invoice was real enough.
Send the URL. We audit the wreckage in 48 hours for £250. Then we fix it, rebuild it, or help you get your money back.
Money-back if it's useless · 30 yrs · UK-led · Senior-only
- 30 yrs Spotting cowboy work
- AI-first Speed is the product
- UK-led No offshoring, no white-label
- From £250 Initial review · triage first
What we unf-ck
Stabilisation, rescue, recovery. seven services.
We specialise in fixing what's broken. One senior team, end-to-end ownership, AI-accelerated. Every engagement starts with the audit, so every quote is scoped from findings, not from hope.
Unf-ck Audits
Two tiers. £250 initial review in 48 hours, or £1,000 full audit (50+ pages, 100+ checks, 10 scored categories, inside a week). Commercial impact in £. Money-back if the report is useless.
Learn moreUnf-ck Static / CMS Website
WordPress, Squarespace, Webflow, hand-rolled. Small brochure site rebuilds for £1,500–£3,000 in 1–2 weeks, internally audited to 90+ before launch. Bigger sites quoted from the full audit.
Learn moreUnf-ck Ecommerce Website
Shopify, WooCommerce, BigCommerce, Magento. If your store crashes, bleeds revenue, or drops payments, we find it, fix it, stop the leak.
Learn moreUnf-ck Care Plans
We don't ship and ghost. Monitoring, security, content updates. So it stays unf-cked and nobody breaks it behind your back.
Learn moreUnf-ck SEO
Sabotaged rankings, broken redirects, schema done wrong, content thinner than a wafer. Technical first, content second, properly.
Learn moreUnf-ck Paid Ads
Google, Meta, LinkedIn. Flat fee instead of 15% of spend. Your accounts, your data, weekly dashboard, real numbers.
Learn moreUnf-ck Social
For the brands whose social agency posts beige inspirational quotes three times a week. Content worth showing up for. AI for volume, senior for voice.
Learn morePricing, deliverables, timelines and FAQs for each.
See services overviewThe cowboy problem
You got done. It happens.
The cowboys quoted you twenty grand. Eight people in the kickoff call. Three months of meetings before any code got written. They handed you a CMS you can't use. A backlog of bugs they call "phase two". A retainer pitch you politely declined. Now the site's slow, won't index, and the agency has gone quiet.
We open the bonnet. Tell you what's actually wrong. Fix what's worth fixing. Replace what isn't. The number on the invoice is small enough that you'll wonder why nobody offered this before.
The part nobody wants to hear: if you're looking at your site and thinking it's bad, it's almost certainly much worse than you think. Nine audits out of ten uncover more damage than the owner expected. The £250 review will prove it in 48 hours. We'll show the receipts.
You're not stupid for getting done. The agency model in this country has been broken for a decade. We exist because of it.
Worth knowing: When the work's bad enough, the £1,000 audit can be structured as evidence for your solicitor. Cited to standards. Signed. Written so a non-technical reader can follow it. Not legal advice. Just the technical document your dispute will need.
The cowboys
£15k–£50k
12 weeks. Eight people. CMS you can't edit. Phase two never happens.
Unf-ck
From £1,000
Days or weeks. Senior-led. CMS you actually own. No retainer trap.
Receipts · real client · 2026
Unf-cked in three hours.
Head Start Mental Health Clinic had a dated green-header template site and an outlook.com address. We audited, concepted and first-draft rebuilt it in a single afternoon. Live five days later.
“Clients started commenting on the new website five days after it went live.”
- First concept
- 3 hours
- Live in
- 5 days
- Juniors
- 0
How we go fast
Bleeding-edge AI. Senior hands. No passengers.
We run an AI-first delivery stack. Modern coding agents, model-aware tooling, automated QA, research and evidence gathering in parallel. The stuff a mid-sized agency takes three months to do, we do in three weeks. Sometimes three days.
Humans very often get in the way of progress. Discovery workshops, status meetings, kickoff decks, hand-offs between six departments, junior analysts copying tickets into a JIRA board for a living. Every one of those cost you weeks and added nothing.
We don't let them. We use humans where they actually add value, senior judgement, trade-off calls, client communication, standards, signing their name to the work. Everything else we hand to the machine and review.
AI does
Scanning. Scaffolding. Migrations. Drafts. Compression. Schema. Repetitive refactors. The juniorable work.
A senior does
Decisions. Trade-offs. Client calls. Standards. Signs every line of the audit. Signs every rescue off.
Nobody does
Discovery workshops. Status theatre. Kickoff decks. Junior-hours billed at senior rates. Meetings about meetings.
How we unf-ck
Five steps. Days, not quarters.
- 01
Diagnose
We audit the wreckage. Tell you what's salvageable and what isn't.
- 02
Triage
What to fix first. What can wait. What's actually a waste of money.
- 03
Unf-ck
We do the work. Fast. AI in the loop. Senior eyes on every decision.
- 04
Launch
Site live, working, indexed, monitored. No phase-two surprises.
- 05
Maintain
We stay close. So it stays unf-cked. So the next agency can't break it again.
The offer · £250 initial audit
48 hours from now you'll know.
Exactly what's wrong, what it's costing you, and what it'll cost to fix. Signed by a named senior. Yours to keep. £250.
- ✓
5–10 pages. Headline scores across five core categories. Top three most-critical findings, cited.
- ✓
Commercial impact in £. Not "room for improvement". A monthly number you can take to the meeting.
- ✓
Delivered in 48 hours. Signed by a named senior. Plain English. Your solicitor could read it.
- ✓
Worse than you think. Nine times out of ten, the audit finds more than the owner expected. If you think it's bad, it's usually worse. We'll prove it with the evidence.
- £
Money-back guarantee. If the report is useless to you, you don't pay. Proper refund, not "I'll see if I can find it in the post". That's how confident we are.
+VAT · payment before work begins · full breakdown on the audits page
Who's behind it
Run by a senior. Not staffed by juniors.
Unf-ck is led by Gary Cheers. 30 years in digital and e-commerce. He's seen every flavour of cowboy work in every flavour of CMS. He knows what's salvageable and what isn't.
When you call, you'll get Gary. When work ships, Gary's reviewed it. The AI is the tool. The judgement is human.
No outsourcing. No offshoring. No "we've assigned you to a junior account exec who joined last month".
And on the rare occasion a finding is outside Gary's confidence, legal-evidence expert witnessing, regulated-industry compliance, niche-platform deep expertise, he says so plainly and brings in a trusted, vetted specialist alongside him. Pretending to know something you don't is how cowboys stay in business. We take the other road.
Insights
Receipts. Field guides. Names of cowboys redacted.
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We turn up
How f-cked is yours? find out in 48 hours.
Send the URL. We'll come back with exactly what's wrong, what it's costing you, and what it'll cost to fix. £250. Money-back if it's useless.